Wayne and I sat on this bench once. We were happy.I really don't mean to be a downer these days. Really, my life is good, and I'm generally happy. I guess I've just been thinking a lot, maybe too much.
Remember how I said I wanted all these things and might ask my parents for a gift card to Anthropologie for my birthday? Well once I'd posted that I realized that I didn't need those things. Yes, if someone decided to be my fairy godmother and make all those things magically appear in my apartment, I'd be absolutely thrilled. But I don't need them.
You know what I really want for my birthday? What I really need?
Support. Approval. Love.
Those are what I need. I want my mom to support the decisions I make in my personal life. I want my parents to approve of Wayne. I want they're unconditional love.
I haven't told my parents Wayne is coming for my birthday. I think it's just hard for me to tell my mom because I don't want to hear in her voice that she doesn't approve. That hurts a lot. Yes he's older, yes he's from another country, yes it's not the easiest relationship in the world. But it's what I want, and I'm not going to change my mind. My heart has made the decision for me, and my heart wants Wayne always.
So I've been thinking maybe an email breaking the news would be easiest. That way I don't have to see/hear her initial reaction. I'm thinking I'll send an email telling her a less detailed version of what I've written here. Basically, that what will make me the happiest for my birthday this year is just for her to support me and be happy for me that Wayne worked so hard to be with me on my birthday.
Any moms out there, I'm willing to listen to your advice. I'd love advice from anyone, really (as long as you're sincere).
Thank you all.
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4 comments:
My heart knows that it is happiest with you and I will do anything to be with you. I know that your parents aproval is important to you baby. I love you so much forever mwah
I think those are the things that everyone wants from their parents: their support, approval, and love. When we're little, we try so hard to do as we're told, to remember everything that they've taught us about saying please and thank you and sharing and being kind and polite individuals. We try to do well in school to make them proud. We try to make the right decisions in our little lives. As we grow older, we try to follow our own rules- some based on what our parents have taught us, some based on what we've learned from church, from society. Really, our decisions should be based on our own thoughts, and ideas, and values. We learn to think for ourselves. We no longer need our parents' approval, but deep down inside I think that most of us still want it. It's only natural.
It's all such a complicated thing. I'm going to call you later.
Age is just a number. My mother didn't approve of my relationship at first but as time went by and she got to KNOW him, she began to accept him. You just need to give it time, because if they see just HOW in love the two of you are (which is obvious just by the way you two write about each other, it's obvious in the comments you leave, it's just beating through the blogosphere!) they won't be able to not like him. At the end of the day Wayne makes you happy. They will come to accept that.
Besides, always remember, age is just a number.
i'm not very good at giving advice, so i won't try. plus, i don't know the situation. but i can tell you this: wayne loves you and morgan loves you and your mom and dad love you and god loves you. and you're never alone. and everything works out. it always, always does. so you'll be fine. you'll be more than fine! just keep going!
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