For Wayne

I must admit I did not make these up myself. They are from an email I received, but I thought they were funny enough to share here.

What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?

Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

How do men define a "50/50" relationship?

We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.

How does a man show he's planning for the future?

He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?

All he's concerned with is legs, breasts, and thighs.

What did God say after creating man?

I can do so much better.

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

ONE......He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.